Love Forevermore
61Love
Love Forevermore A Poem
Your Beauty, so new
With our love it grew
Your birthday was grand
when I asked for your hand
Though I went away
you asked me to stay
with you forever hand in hand
but time my dear slips away.
Our daughters were born
a gift to forever cherish.
As the years went past
all way to fast
I chose work over you
like this, a love cannot continue.
Though I didn't understand
success you didn't want in my hand.
You wanted a love not bland
Now that I know
Its what I shall show
A love ablaze
til the end of our days
I'll rescue you from the cliff
and give our love a lift
For your wish and desire
I will give without tire
until my breath at last expires.
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Yes, go for it =] she'll love it.
Thank you.
Well it can't hurt, and it is beautiful. I do hope it works for you. Sometimes it takes much more than a love grown old to rekindle than it does to kindle a new one. Been there myself a few times. Thanks for sharing.
i THINK SHE WILL LOVE SOME OF IT.... but not necessary to put the negativity in about her thinking it was dying.... just reassure it's beginning ... don't forget the flowers... You have now joined the ranks of the poets, well done. Can't actually believe you are a novice... just finished one myself... check it out... it is about me missing poems on hubpages...
Thanks ralwus, you are right about that.
Brenda: So, cut out the love dying part or the more negative parts, I'm confused.
I know I would love it, if it was given to me. However wonderful the words are, I hope you have a plan of action to back them up! Even loving words can hurt if the actions do not match. :D
Yes k@ri I most certainly do.
love dying is kinda negative isn't it
no need to say the flame of our love has dwindled in a poem, concentrate on it re igniting that's only my opinion.
I like it. Will edit.
If its from the heart and you read it to her she will love it.
Wonderful heartfelt poem, wesleycox. She'll enjoy and appreciate the your admittance to your sensual side. However, I would suggest that you not use overreaching words (archaic language) such as "tis,""hath," and "alas" as they are vague and unnecessary when simple, clearer words will do. Just pretend she's standing right in front of you and looking into your eyes when rewriting this. Believe me, it'll have much more meaning, to both you and her. Hope you don't mind the advice! Good luck.
Wow. My husband never cared enough to write anything for me. You really love your wife. That is so sweet. She should appreciate those words.
Beautiful! (on a technical note.. maybe change "endure" with "cherish"?? ) I know putting your heart on your sleeve is tough, but you did, and did it nicely!
I agree with everyone here in that, yes, please give this to your wife. The opinion edits here are very wise. Please consider these suggestions.
Overall, nice, Wesley. Never lost the opportunity to express how much you love someone. I wish you both the very best.
Thank you everyone.
I am no poet but I loved it I would agree with Candie as for me endure sounds like something you have to put up with while cherish is something you delight in.
Being that I write poems about love all the time I say that is beautiful. But Ralwus is right about one thing. Love that has grown old sometimes goes out and is SO hard to rekindle. But as long as you try and as long as their is spark left in her heart that longs for the way things used to be between you and her....then I say It never hurts to try. A woman's heart can endure much heartache and is capable of redoing it all over again, but when she is hurt by a man's choice of something over her unconditional love then sometimes the resentment can outweigh whats left of her love for that person. BUT AGAIN...the poem is beautiful and I hope the best for you and that she loves it and welcomes you home with loving and open arms to re-share that "love" again.- JJ
Thank you maggs I agree with candie also and will change it.
Pachuca: You are absolutely right. I hope she does have the spark left.
This is really lovely. A woman wants to be in love with the man she chose, the man who is the father of her children. Let her know every day that you love her and that she is the most important part of your life. This poem is a great start...keep it up.
What a beautiful gesture wesley. I'm assuming I'm reading the edited version, judging on the comments above? And did it work - was she taken with your poetry and the fact that's it for her, about her?
No it didn't work it failed and fell flat on its face. That is why I wrote the one in the forum.
Oh Wow, What a beautiful tribute to making an effort to rekindle love... Unfortunately, poetry seems to be given such low scores on HP. I'm rating this one up because true love always deserves a second chance! :)
Money Glitch: Thank you for your kind remarks. I would have to fully agree with you on that sense.
Just make sure to live up to your poem! You'll be set for life.
Thanks for reading and commenting Dana, and I will.
hiya are you tuning in at all..... nice to read this again
simplyjo 2 years ago
yes she'll love it. it's beautiful...and honest - straight from di heart types.